We associate vulnerability with emotions we want to avoid such as fear, shame, and uncertainty. Yet we too often lose sight of the fact that vulnerability is also the birthplace of joy, belonging, creativity, authenticity, and love. To be vulnerable is to be deeply seen. It’s to love with your whole heart and to put yourself out there. To feel vulnerable is to be alive—to exist as your most beautiful self.
I recently received the following question from a reader, “I know vulnerability is a good way to be, but I find it difficult. The moment I notice that feel I lost control of a situation, rather than keep feeling vulnerable, I move away from it. For example, when I am with people I date, rather than discussing my feelings, admitting my imperfections, or letting my faults show themselves, I am more often concerned with looking as perfect as I can be and engage in more superficial conversations.”
Why does vulnerability feel so scary and awkward sometimes?
Most of us can relate to times when we expressed an emotion and it was not received well, so we develop suppression techniques. In this reader's case, she realized that her parents expected her to have her stuff together and be a good example because she is an eldest child. Emotion was looked down upon, and …