• How Wants A Human Flesh Burger

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    Good meat can cost an arm and a leg — or, in this instance, it can be made of them. Following the same vein as Jeffrey Dahmer, Chef Jim Thomlinson of the London Mess collaborated with baker Miss Cakehead to create a decadent new burger — meant to taste like fresh human meat.

    Just in time for Halloween – if you hop on a plane to London, you can experience the scrum-didily-umptious taste of human flesh! Get your true-blue zombie fix and actually know what your friends must taste like…

    A London restaurant-caterer team-up is launching human flesh burgers to commemorate the start of the next Walking Dead season.

    Telegraph reporter Leah Hyslop says:

    Before you fall off your chair in horror, don’t panic – the burger isn’t actually made of human flesh, but is simply meant to taste like it.

    Oh whew! Well, in that case – Nom-nom-nom… (Not really)

    Who was the one who figured out the mixture behind the taste of human flesh?

    Well, don't worry, the creators of this bipedal treat didn't taste for themselves – they just read from actual cannibals which, yes, still exist today in various manifestations. Your occasional murderer, explorers, and uber-primitive folk…

    The openly cannibalistic 20th century explorer William Seabrook compared human flesh to veal the most, saying, “It was like good, fully developed veal, not young, but not yet beef.” Whereas murderer Issei Sagawa described the experience as “melt[ing] in my mouth like raw tuna in a sushi restaurant.” Can't say they didn't consult the experts…

    Therefore, the patties are actually a mixture of pork, veal, bone marrow and chicken livers…
    What a blood curdling way to promote what is actually a traditional diet – except the horror to a lot of people today might be finding out they just ate veal – the meat of young calves. Of course, this is a clever marketing campaign that rides hard on the coattails of zombie-dom – but what does it say to the person who wolfs one of these down while watching Waking Dead – is the joke on you?
    Dark jokes aside, the top-heavy food system, especially the meat industry, does come with its fair share of human DNA. Not kidding!
    This is according to the one country that thought to investigate meat handling amid the horse meat scandal – that would be South Africa. Not only did they find lots of foreign, non-domesticated animals in the mix, but also – you guessed it – human DNA.
    The London chef claimed his “food is usually inspired by flavour combinations and fresh produce.” So it was reportedly a departure from the norm to be influenced this time by the world's known cannibals. Chef Jim Thomlinson called on the adventurous spirit of some who are willing to taste his human flesh burger.
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